Monday, March 26, 2007

My experience with loosing weight

I just wanted to clarify something about the exercising thing. When I had Sweetie I put on almost 60lbs. I am very short, and my height calls for a much smaller weight than most women. My *ideal* weight is between 100-126 lbs, according to BMI (Body Mass Index) calculators.
Most of my life I had been *tiny* and I could eat when I wanted, as much as I wanted, and whatever I wanted. And to make matters more lovely, I *loved* to eat. (Gone are those glory days. (rolleyes) )
That all changed with sweetie. The *most* I should of gained was 40lbs, but I gained 20 more lbs than that. Part of it was because I thought my belly wasn't getting big enough. Most women that I knew who were pregnant were much bigger than me. Even the small short ones. So I couldn't understand why I wasn't getting a big belly. So I stuffed my face. Literally.
Well, when sweetie came out, my stretched out stomach (the one that holds all the food) did not shrink as did my preggo belly, and guess where all that extra weight was? That's right! Where every woman hates it.
In my extreme naivety I thought that all those lbs would just melt off, because they had for my sister, and other friends of like state. But nope. Not for me.
I did not realize how much weight I had gained until I compared my wedding picture with a present one. The two comparisons were only 1 1/2 years apart. I decided I needed to take some action.
So I did. And let me tell you. It was HARD work, that takes discipline, (which doesn't come very natural to me) and learning to do. Here I was, someone who could eat to her heart's content before, and now, that was not allowed any more. I kind of grieved, because I used to be able to *love* food.
During that time, I joined a free online Christian weight loss accountability and it got me on the right track. It helped to see that my focus and attention was on the food supplying all of my emotional needs, rather than relying on the Lord.
Slowly, I began to understand how to eat better, and exercise. I lost 27lbs within three months when I first *determined* to do it.
Then I found out I was expecting Bean. I continued to eat healthy, and exercise, and this time I only gained about 30lbs. It was the best pregnancy I ever had. I lost *all* my baby weight the next day after she was born. I continued to exercise and eat healthy, and lost about 15lbs more.
When then moved and I was going through a rough time that whole year. I found out I was expecting Little Tiny Boy, and I turned to food again to comfort my hurt. I gained a few more lbs than I wanted, and I stopped exercising.
Consequently, my labor was harder than it was with Bean, and now I have about 10-15lbs that I want to take off.
My point is, I will never arrive with the *ideal* weight or body. (The body thing changed when I noticed my nice deep stretch marks around my belly button) Nor will I ever be able to *love* food like I once did without bad consequences. When I lost the most amount of weight after sweetie, a big idea really changed my perspective on my life. That was, I am going to have to eat healthy and exercise for the rest of my life, if I want to stay fit and active. It isn't a one time fix of loosing weight. I will always have to keep an eye on what I eat.
Somethings that really helped me out, was to eat only two servings of *whole* wheat bread a day. Eat only 1 pat of butter, and *no* dairy. Eat TONS of fruits and veggies, and only 1 sweet thing a week.
Another thing that changed in my perspective on being healthy: Being *fit* is not about how one looks, or if their weight is ideal. Being *fit* is actually being able to move around without pain and being short of breath. I remember when I was overweight, that I would get down on the floor to play with Sweetie, and I would have a terrible time getting up, and I was only 21 years old! When I began to exercise and stretch, that all changed, and I was much more flexible, and had more energy to keep up with my little baby.
Being *fit* is eating healthy at all times, so when you do have a little naughty treat it isn't the end of the world. It is not never ever having a bowl of ice cream. It is just having Ice cream half the serving you were used to helping yourself to.
Sometimes I get a little paranoid about my weight, because I know how HARD it was to take off over 40lbs, and I don't want to *have* to do that again. I don't want to get short of breath, and not be able to run and play with my children. Loosing weight is no picnic, it is just plain hard work. Like most of life is plain hard work.
My paranoia, I am afraid, comes across to other people in a negative way, because I am saying how I need to loose a few lbs, and people are probably thinking, "She should talk! She isn't heavy" But I know what it is like to be heavy, and I don't want to get that far again, so when I say I need to loose weight it is just a little "tune up." To keep my brain in the right frame of mind.
I haven't exercised for over a year, and I can feel it's effects on me. I am more tired, more grumpy, and run out of air much more quickly.
So when I wrote about my exercising, it wasn't on the intent of "look at me, I exercise!" It was more of a pep talk to me, because I HATE it so much! But once it is over, I do feel better, and have more energy.


Mrs. C said...

Thanks for sharing that with us. Almost all ladies struggle in this area, myself included. After 4 kids and a major surgery, I've dealth with some "body issues", too. I'll be praying for you as you endeavor to eat healthy and exercise. :)
Mrs. C

Mommy said...

Thanks Mrs. C. :)