Thursday, November 29, 2007

Let's Get Honest

I really don't know why I am posting this on my blog. Last night I lost it. (no not my mind; almost, but it is still here) I lost my emotions over something so dumb and stupid. (Could be that AF showed up yesterday) (For those of you who don't know who AF is, comment me, and I will tell you. ;-) )

Anyway, I lost it over the girls toys. I had posted about this on a backwards Works For Me Wednesday day. I still haven't found the solution. People gave wonderful ideas, but I've tried them all. Or they won't work in our situation. The girls really don't have that many toys comparably speaking. But yet, it gets soooo out of control.

Yesterday because AF visited me, I wasn't feeling very good. So I helped them pick up. Like I *always* do. After it was all done, I told them they could play, but to take one thing out at a time. Later on, their doll house was open, there were a minut amount of toys on the floor, and one of their toy buckets (still full of toys) was slightly pulled out of the closet.

When I saw that I lost it. I burst into tears. *Why* can't I figure out a solution? I hear in my mind all these voices and see all these flash backs of years gone by. And I see the future too.

In the past I see a mother; one I was glad I didn't have. She was my neighbor's mother. I sounded just like her.

The voices that I hear, are "You are a terrible mother"

And the future that I see, I am arguing with Sweetie over some boy she isn't allowed to date.

All of this because of TOYS!!

I cried out to the Lord about this. And all this other stuff came pouring out of my heart. This morning as I was visiting some blogs I came across this. What perfect timing!


"I must admit I feel a lot of pressure with two children under two years of age. I am committed to do it until they are in school, however, and feel it is God's will. At times like this--when I wonder if I will even be able to finish this letter with both of them screaming for something--or when I miss going to lunch or getting dressed up, everyday life seems a drudgery. I worked hard to get through college--to be a scrubwoman, ha!"

I understand this mother's cry. So does the Lord. He has given us this word: "No temptation has come your way that is too hard for flesh and blood to bear. But God can be trusted not to allow you to suffer any temptation beyond your powers of endurance. He will see to it that every temptation has a way out, so that it will never be impossible for you to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13, PHILLIPS).

"A way out," I can hear her say, "What mother has a way out?"

The New English Bible translation throws light on this: "a way out, by enabling you to sustain it." Think, too, of Jesus' words, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:29 AV). He is willing to bear our burdens with us, if only we will come to Him and share the yoke, His yoke.

I saw this principle in operation when I visited the Dohnavur Fellowship in India. There, day after day, year in and year out, Indian women (most of them single) care for little children, handicapped children, infirm adults, old folks. They don't go anywhere. They have none of our usual forms of amusement and diversion. They work with extremely primitive equipment--there is no running water, for example, no stoves but wood-burning ones, no washing machines. In one of the buildings I saw this text: "There they dwelt with the King for His work." That's the secret. They do it for Him. They ask for and receive His grace to do it. I saw the joy in their lovely faces.

So this is my encouragement from the Lord that I cried out for. Thank you Lord. God will give me the grace. It is sufficient. Just keep plugging on Mommy. :)


Leanne said...

I just started reading your blog a couple of weeks ago. This post was beautifully honest! I have completely "lost it" at such inappropriate times. That is Satan's bait to tell you that you are a "terrible" mother... You are a mother who obviously seeks the Lord in the midst of trials (even the self-made kind). That's the best example you can ever give your daughters.
Thank you for sharing about is hard sometimes, but we can take comfort that we are molding another generation who will seek and serve the KING!
Thank you for writing this!

Queen of My Domain said...

I think we all go through days like this. Just remembering that God hears our faintest cries is reassuring. What a joy that you found that letter on another blog on the day that you needed it.

Angela said...

Hi! I saw this & had to comment because I go bonkers about our toy chaos, and I have 2 children too. One thing I have realized is that I get overwhelmed by the mess, AND so do the rest! But I am probably more sensitive to it, and if I can't handle it, that explains why the children feel unable to keep them cleaned up too. I have pared down & don't think we have too many toys, but we do have plenty. I finally realized that we just can't handle much; so it is better to have less than we think we need. I boxed away a bunch of the toys in a huge box and was going to swap them out, but instead we are getting rid of them. They aren't missed. We also have huge messes of books; so I have realized I need to keep most of the books out of sight and bring out a few at a time. Idealy, I wish we had a big walk in closet. I'd line the walls with shelves to store all the toys & books. Then keep a small shelf of books out in the open, and allow only one type of toys out of the closet at a time. For now, our solution that helps is to have one long wall lined with shelves where all the toys & books go. The toy boxes created chaos and big bins of any kind get dumped out. So we use small plastic baskets instead-the size that fit on bookshelves. Anytime it starts getting out of hand, I realize that we have too much stuff *for us* and we're actually happier with less. So I say get rid of half of what you have or get rid of anything not LOVED and box up at least half of the rest. Then swap out the boxed every month so toys are like new over & over. I hope this helps.

Anonymous said...

Consider this:

It's a picture of toy storage.